I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
