Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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