Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
