it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
