its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
well most of my day revolves around power hour
should my penis look like a turkey
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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