fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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