hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
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If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
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Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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