Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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