Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
