If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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