Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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