To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
