I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
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He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
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My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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