Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
