then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
