I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
God I need to hump something, right now.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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