He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
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I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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