I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
