I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
