I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
