I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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