Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
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24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
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When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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