Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
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I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
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No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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