You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
