Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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