I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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