Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
