I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
