Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
