Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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