uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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