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I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Randomize
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