I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
sex in a hospital.. check
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.