im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.