you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
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After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
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I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?