It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I don't deserve a penis
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It's rum buckets o'clock
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok