We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
