i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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