Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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