Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
