hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
