I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We are two peas in an std pod
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
