Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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