Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
