Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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