I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
