the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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