i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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