Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
