She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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