She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
