I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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