I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
