I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize