Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
