bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
