My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
