..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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