are you so shy because you have an std?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
