I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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