I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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