I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Randomize
