So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
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I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
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The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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